“Whenever I step into a crowd, my heart races and I feel like I can’t breathe.”
“I’m constantly afraid of the judgement of other people; I’d rather run away than risk talking to them.”
“I start shaking and sweating uncontrollably when I have to present in front of a classroom.”
Social Anxiety Disorder, or SAD, is a debilitating condition that, according to The National Institute of Mental Health, approximately 15 million U.S. adults live with. Due to ever-evolving stressors of modern life, as well as the heavy reliance on the internet and instant messaging technologies for work and recreation, this mental health condition is as pronounced as ever. In a world that de-prioritizes social connections in favor of virtual experiences, how can anyone hope to find their voice?
Social anxiety can severely limit one's ability to socialize with others, complete daily tasks, and maintain personal relationships. Left untreated, it can lead to feelings of isolation, depression, and low self-esteem; furthermore, unchecked social anxiety can also cause panic attacks, heart palpitations, and other chronic health conditions.
The Hedgehog's Dilemma
The hedgehog’s dilemma is a concept explored by philosophers and psychologists alike for many years. The metaphor starts like this: in winter, two hedgehogs huddle together for warmth and company. However their quills end up pricking each other, causing them to move away. Eventually, find a “tolerable distance” from one another that minimizes pain—and the warmth they receive from one another. The hedgehog’s dilemma describes the paradox of how the desire for intimacy often leads to pain and vulnerability. It also highlights how we often put up self-imposed “walls” to deal with rejection.
The fear of social rejection leads individuals suffering from social anxiety to disengage with the world, retreating into the “protective bubble” of isolation. This leads to short-term relief, but it ultimately creates a vicious cycle: fear of rejection and ostracism leads to self-imposed solitude, which in turn causes feelings of negative self-worth. These thoughts drive us to seek out social interaction, though they also hold us back from making any meaningful change. Thus, we circle back to isolating ourselves from the world in order to cope with our fears.
Taking the Next Step
Treating social anxiety takes time and effort, but it isn’t impossible. Therapy establishes a neutral environment in which you, the client, are safe to discuss your emotions, concerns, and fears without judgement. Together, we can create a roadmap on how to address your social phobias and help you find your voice.